This will probably be the most open and controversial blog post I will write and share. But I feel it’s something that needs to be talked about. The first time I left my #architecthusband was in January 2019. A few weeks right before his birthday. Cruel, I know. I am confrontational and JS is not. “Frank,” “straightforward,” and “tactless” may even be the best terms to describe me. By “confrontational,” that means I say what’s in my mind whenever I want to, mostly without thinking of the other person’s feelings. But I can do it so casually without being emotional. JS is a different breed. He is careful, sensitive, and thoughtful—traits I clearly do not possess. But when he gets angry, he can say the harshest words even if he doesn’t mean them.
“Abbie, please edit my Facebook caption of my wedding anniversary greeting for papa,” my mother, Annie, sent me via chat really early yesterday. “Sumakit yun ulo ko. Kain muna ko ah. (I think I’m having a headache just reading your run-on sentences. Hahahaha! I’ll eat breakfast first.)” I told her her message was not wrong, but her flow of words could be improved. Apart from social media and tech-savviness (😂), that simple exchange displayed my mama’s humility and her trust in me. How apt! Those are two of the many things needed in ensuring a happy marriage—things I’ve clearly learned from my parents’ 41 years of being Mr. and Mrs. Their journey was never boring, that I can attest to, so I’m sharing here some of the things it taught me about marriage—both what it is and what it is not.
Two years ago, I posted the #architecthusband’s unsung hero’s fatherhood story. Every single word in that piece still holds true to this day. And every single day, I thank God for blessing me with a kind, funny, gracious, and selfless man for a husband and a father to my son. When my husband and I were still dating, I used to be the cheesy one. I remember I even gifted him a tiny dictionary (wow, couldn’t I get more creative?) where I highlighted random words that reminded me of him and challenged him to look for all those words. I can no longer remember what those exact words were, but I’m pretty sure in our more than two years of being parents, that vocabulary has already expanded.
Is there an unwritten rule that you should have the first kiss only after you’ve started dating? If there were, my husband and I have broken it—and without intending to. Everything was a blur when the #architecthusband and I had our first kiss, perhaps because it was unexpected. And mostly because we were not yet dating at that time.
I’m sorry to burst your bubble. As I type this (in my Notes on iPhone), it is almost midnight and I’m in bed embraced by the half-asleep #architecthusband while our two-year-old #LittleBoyJesse is on the other side of the bed, finally asleep. Our kitchen sink full of dirty dishes is waiting for me downstairs (which I plan to get to after I finish this draft), piles of laundry need to be sorted for laundromat drop-off, bathrooms begging for a deeper clean, wardrobe cabinet biding its time before it gets fully “#konmari-ed,” essential oil blend recipes yet to be prepared, to-dos for passion projects in slumber before they get moving, and the list goes on.
In celebration of International Women’s Day last March 8, I’ve put together a list on how to win a man’s heart because, as society dictates, getting a man is the ultimate goal in life of every woman. Number 1: Do not introduce yourself. Instead, invade his work area the first time you meet and tinker with his things, especially if he were OC.